Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Who's the boss?

God, what a horrendous performance from Bruce Springsteen, I know I am not in the popular demographic of Boss fans (reserved for women between the ages of 40 and 60), but I would once again like to thank Janet Jackson for fucking us in the ass with her old saggy boob. How many shitskakke performances is it going to take for the Super Bowl halftime show to once again be relevant. The last two have featured performers with a combined 7 replaced hips between the two of them, making it all but certain that the Rolling Stones will be next year's super bowl performers followed by the decomposed corpse of John Lennon; although I hear dead people are edgy, and like to show off there coccyx.

Congrats to the Steelers and the 50% of America that roots for them.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Fuck you Eric Weddle!

Hey look at that, this game looks like it could be a hotly contested divisional playoff game where the underdog may have a chance at winning; good thing I bet my rent money on the Chargers covering 6 points.

Thankfully though one man stepped up to make sure one home team would win last weekend. That man, Eric Weddle, should be awarded with the key to Pittsburgh. It is not often that one player can single-handedly give two touchdowns to the other team, but where there's a will there's a way. Not only do you commit a 60 yd pass interference call in the endzone which is standard for NFL defensive backs/safeties, but you also let a punt bounce off your helmet in a pivotal 3rd quarter making sure the Steelers get every play in the quarter and putting them on the Chargers 20 yard line.

Take a bow Eric you are the toast of Pittsburgh, the reason my dogs are not being fed for the rest of the month, and you have a vagina on your face (seriously soul patches went out with Vanilla Ice).


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

WTF is 110%.


Few sports cliches bother me as much as giving 110%. I wasted four years of my life getting a Mathematics degree in order to properly dissect the retardedness that is giving 110%. Lets say a player like Brian Russell of the Seattle Seahawks says he gave 110% effort in the last game of the season against the Cardinals (naturally a Seahawks loss). That would mean his effort was at 110% or 1.1E, where E represents the maximum possible effort that this grit machine can give. Oh my fucking god look at that E < 1.1E, but E = the maximum effort possible. We found a motherfucking contradiction in one second, I am glad that my amazingly complex math skills allowed me to analysize that so quickly. Guess what Brian when you were giving 110% you were actually giving something less then 100%, my guess is somewhere around 85% because you are physically unathletic and thus must try much harder in order to achieve much lesser on-field results. Contrast that to an athletically gifted safety who probably cruises at about 50% effort to achieve greater on-field results.

This question raises an even greater question of what percentage effort we are all working at any given time. I know I never go above 20% of my maximum effort as there are many blogs that need to be read and commented on, for me 110% = 22%.